What Do You Want?

     As I’ve been going through Scripture this week, this phrase has come up over and over again. Be it God asking kings or prophets what they needed from Him, over and over again, God keeps asking this question. But why? 

     This past month has been such a trying month. Never in my life have I questioned my calling more or dealt with as many personal issues, be it my health, or whatever else. With everything I looked at, I felt like everything around me was falling apart. I questioned that I was where God wanted me to be in my serving Him. I doubted whatever future plans He has set for me. My health took a pretty scary roll downwards, and it began to feel like the relationships I had with the people around me were all falling to shambles. In the midst of these questions, His voice rang out loud and clear, continually asking me, What do you want?

     My God isn’t a god like others who sit quietly and choose not to respond when those who believe in Him cry out. My God is the only one who will respond in a powerful and active way. He is my God who knows my deepest and darkest pains and worries. He knows exactly the right pick me up for me, He understands my insecurities and He works inspite of them. When I was questioning my calling, He moved mountains and opened doors for me to do something that was beyond my wildest dreams? You know that thing that you always wish would happen, and you always imagine happening, but know in your head that it actually will probably never happen? Well that’s the thing that God did for me. When I battled within myself and doubted everything that I’m living for; He sent exactly the right word for me. Child, what do you want?

     You see, in the middle of my doubts and fears, this question isn’t what’s ringing through my ears. Rather, doubt and anxiety reign supreme. God, what’s going on? Why are You allowing these things to happen again? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I’m not the only one who deals with this. We all have our own struggles and pains that we don’t want to let anyone else into. Fears and doubts inside of us that we don’t want to anyone else see. Trust me, I wouldn’t want any of you to have the slightest idea about what’s going on deep inside me. Why? Because I fear being judged. But you know what’s so awesome about my God? He gets me! He understands my weird twisted up insides, and He knows exactly how to treat my crazy symptoms. He knows my needs and wants; and “He supplies all [my] needs according to His riches in glory.” But the question still lingers; What do you want?

     When we make our wants known to God, we actively responds. He is a GOOD Father. If my earthly father has the ability to pick up when I’m feeling down and does everything in his power to take away whatever pain I’m feeling; if he can give good gifts to his children; then how much MORE does my heavenly Father do and give for His children. That’s something that is so easy to forget. We have a heavenly Father. My God is the Creator of the universe, He is the Lord of Hosts, He is ABBA. I am a CHILD OF GOD; and so when I call out ABBA Father, He is a God who ACTIVELY responds to the cries of His children. Daughter, what do you want?
   
     What are your fears? What are you questioning? What is causing you pain? Give it to Jesus. He doesn’t look at you like the people around you do. He looks at you as His CHILD. He’s asking, what do you want? If we ask, He is a good God who will respond in love. Trust Him. He’ll show up for you. 

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