Fixing My Eyes

I have astigmatism. It’s nothing too serious, but my eyes just can’t focus like everyone else’s can. My vision is blurred because the optics of my eyes cannot focus a point object into a sharp focused image on my retina. So, I wear glasses and contacts to correct my vision, to help my eyes refocus. On their own, my eyes cannot see clearly; they need to be refocused. You know when having astigmatism is the most irritating? When I’m driving at night. Throw some bright lights or your high beams my way, and I promise you, I won’t be able to see anything else. Pretty dangerous, huh? (PTL for anti-glare glasses!)

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith,
Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
And sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
-Hebrews 12:2-

I’ve found in my walk with the Lord, when I’m driving at night is when my spiritual astigmatism is the worst too. When I can’t see the road ahead, and when unexpected things are thrown my way, my vision gets so blurred, that I can no longer see what’s in front of me. It’s not that I can’t see what my next step is, or what the next thing that calling me to is (I often can’t see or picture that even without my “astigmatism’, and trust me, I get it, it’s scary), but rather, I lose sight of the One who is holding me in the palm of His hand. I lose sight of the fact that it’s never about my story, but that the sole purpose of my story is to point to Jesus. I lose sight of the loving Father who is holding my hand, and actually guiding the steering wheel. My eyes only see what’s being thrown at me, my surroundings, they can’t see past that, I can’t see past that, and everything just becomes so blurry. My eyes need to be refocused.

This past semester has been a total whirlwind. School work was getting out of control. My grades were dropping. My health was sinking. Nothing made any sense. In the middle of my struggle, all I could see were MRI results that were scary, and bright lights that kept coming my way. Everything was a complete blur. I had to stop. I had to blink. And when I stopped to take a second and blink, my eyes refocused, and it became clear again. You see, what I refused to believe in the midst of the blur was that God is good, and that He is always good. I forgot the promise that He would never leave me or forsake me. All I could see in the blur was me walking alone.


Friends, the honest to goodness truth is that you’re never walking alone. Even though everything seems so blurry and all you can see are lights whizzing by you, and it feels like you’re about to swerve off of the road, you’re in safe hands. Take a second, blink, let your eyes refocus. What you need to see isn’t the next step, what you need to see are the lights of the car in front of you. Keep following those headlights. Trust me, the one who’s behind the wheel of that car knows what He’s doing, and He is a loving Father who wants and holds nothing but the best for you. Let your eyes refocus on that. In the midst of the blur, know that the God who held your hands in all the other rough spots is still holding your hand, and still walking through with you. Pause. Blink. See.   

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